september26'2010
sunday,11:25pm
GAIL,Pata
It is going to be nearly one complete year (one month left)at work in my company as an engineer.Lots of thoughts and images are rumbling throughout adding to a vague picture of all the one year mementoes of this place:some good ,some bad,some pleasant and some stringent enough to carry on.There were lots of realisations and vicarious feelings in such a little time you can say but which seemed to be an age which in true sense made me feel one more year old to my age this time.Amazing varities of people,surprisingy filthy environment,arid and sour loneliness,rugged routine which sometimes offers some faddist impressions though are all those i came across as much I can recall right now at stretch without any pause.However there were some illuminating scenes as well whose shelter i often pursued to get escaped from the boisterous things I just mentioned.The most implicit among them was my eager-beaver state at work which always helped me forget all else.Though wether hammer struck at right point or not,it matters least to me as always.Many times on field I found and noticed so many things consistently unchanged and thus my inspiration.Among them was the behaviour of some critical equipments which used to become more adverse at the repetitive manual mischieveous attitudes which are generally stereotypes.Though animated,machines healthy working cannot be compromised with the no help behaviours of the operators coz not only the life of machine with which expectations of the company has been reposed but also the life of the concerned personnals associated would be at stake.Generally humans are not adaptive towards change ,it is indeed hard since it brings a feeling within that you were wrong.Though pre acceptance time is hard to get along but once that change happens hollowness inside gtarts getting consolidated.Competition,race,hiearchy,system,discipline,catch-22 all are the prevalent and logically very utmost features of a public sector company where you can grow old very soon not in terms of your experience but your layout as well.After a monotonus streched out schedule,when you come out to some outer world you would feel that there are lots of things to think and discuss and care and learn but only thing that is pulling our leg is that we cannot change the work profile and neither its schedule.Life has changed a lot and after writing this much one more realisation pinched me just now that pessimism has entered into me when ,how I dont know and this feature is also of course one of the rewards of my one year work in a PSU where your own changes would not be conspicuous to you.But I cannot talk dark,not at all reasons being very simple...firstly I do not want these changes in me and get layered with the dust of these corporeal filthiness and secondly every cloud has a silver lining and every shooting star fulfills a wish ...these things still are my beliefs and make my heart green amidst the dead appearing workplace.I am happy I am still having the tender sentiments,getting layered though,I am still having the courage to break the ice of monotony and prejudices,I am stll having the love of my loved ones and i am still having too many things to do to retain my being as myself.
one year and one girl....still lot to do taking short pauses to regain the lost values of life...............just scared sometimes that this choc-ice will melt and so will be the whiteness..........
all the best to me and with newer hopes ....
sweta
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